Running Recap: My terrible, awful, no good, very bad run. (Or, Gracie and the boy.)

Today, I ran. I ran slow, I ran against everything my body wanted. But I ran. And I ran 5 miles.

And let me tell you, it was awful. 

Like, really awful.

There was too. much. goddamn. WIND.

There was a headwind the entire run. That shouldn’t even be possible when you’re running a loop. But it happened.

I woke up with a headache and my lungs were screaming. I popped some Excedrin and puffed my inhaler. Neither decided to do their job today.

By the first mile and a half, I was cursing myself for even doing this.

This doesn’t do my misery justice.

And then came Gracie.

Gracie is a dog. A very rambunctious dog. Gracie decided she didn’t want to be in her backyard anymore, so she ran like hell.

Then I saw the boy. This poor boy was maybe seven or eight years old and trying his damndest to catch up to Gracie and bring her home.

So, I ran after Gracie. I ran a half mile in a circle running after Gracie. Finally, Gracie found a yard she liked, and decided to use it. The boy was able to grab her, but looked like he was ready to fall over. I asked him if he wanted me to walk home with him in case she broke free again. He looked down at the very disappointed dog, let out a giant sigh and muttered “yes, please.” After we both tried our hardest to hold onto her collar, she acted as though we were choking her, and it became too awkward to hold her back.

Being the ingenious person that I am (no ego here), I took off my running belt and clipped it around her collar. Now the boy had a makeshift leash, and he couldn’t have been happier. We finally saw Mom power walking toward us with Gracie’s real leash, and she thanked me for helping her son.

Always replenish your carbs and electrolytes after chasing someone’s dog.

Then came the hardest three miles of my life.

Honestly, that’s not even true. My hip locking up during my first half marathon was definitely worse, but it was definitely the hardest three miles I’ll do today.

I swear, it felt like forever before finally making it home. My eyes were crossing from my headache. My lungs were struggling for air. At some point I got a horrific cramp under my ribs.

More accurate misery.

But guess what? I finished my five miles. I literally got punched in the groin. (Thanks Gracie!) And I’m alive. And I didn’t need an ambulance.

I even remembered to stretch!

I guess it maybe wasn’t so terrible after all.

(Yes it was.)

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